Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

WAGE EARNERS 31

"Oh, you mean that Levie. No, what's the matter with him?"

"Last week he was paying a visit to the factory of Boas and he says to a polishers 'You want to buy something of me?' Says the polisher 'No, I don't need anything'."

Says Levie "You don't need shoe-laces?"

"No," says the polisher.

Says Levie, "Then take a carton with pins and needles home to your wife."

Says the polisher "My Sarah has stocked the house full of pins and needles."

Well, Levie keeps going on and on "don't you need this, don't you need that", so finally the polisher says "I have a terrible diarrhoea, don't you have something for that?"

Says Levie "No, not directly But I do have a necktie for sale with a beautifully matching colour."

The emperor Napoleon, after he had conquered Holland, introduced civil registration for all Dutchmen. This included the Jews. But Jews were known as sons of their fathers. Moses, son of Isaac, was called "Moses ben Yitzchak". This could go on and on, for instance "Avrom ben Shimme ben Ari ben Nehemin". Jewish names were too complicated for the gentlemen at the Town Hall who had been ordered by Napoleon to register them, so they simplified them.

"Who are you?" they ask.

"Schmul, the fishcleaner."

"Good, from now on your name is Samuel "Visschoonmaker" (fishcleaner).That is how bizarre names came into being based on the profession of these people.