De zoon van een gazzen

Uit beschouwingen van Awraham X.

Since our talk in Beith-Hakerem a strange change occurred in Ithamar: in the expression of his face, in his movements, in all his appearance. He acted as though he were a different man. He became reserved and distant, and his eyes acquired a severe and morose look.

Was he really planning the attempt on Van Fried’s lifel - In vain I tried to find the answer in Ithamar’s face; it did not betray his thoughts, and since our last talk he didn’t utter a single word about Van Fried.

Weeks passed. The work at the Citadel came to an end and it was followed by a period of unemployment. But jobless days didn’t spell leisure; they only meant free time, and all my free time was dedicated to the Haganah. Ithamar was busy with his company, and for days now we didn’t see each other.

One morning I read in the newspaper that Van Fried was leaving for Lon-don the following day on an important political mission. At the banquet given in his honor by his followers, Van Fried made a bombastic statement, the newspaper said, promising to consolidate the forces opposing Zionism among the British, Arabs and Jews, and kill the already-staggering pro-Zionist policy of the British government.

I was boiling mad. Ithamar was right. Van Fried must be put out of the way, and I wished he would be. I tried to prevent it. I warned him, but it was all in vain. Now let Ithamar do what he feit was right. But it wasn’t as simple as that. As soon as my anger subsided, the sober thinking took over again. Didn’t I analyse all pros and cons time and again 1 Didn’t I myself point out to Ithamar all the dangers of terrorism? No! I had no right to wash my hands and say I did what I could to prevent it.

I knew better than that. The duty of a halutz and a member of the Haganah was to do more than one could. How far would we be if the halutzim were to do just what they couldI In my quandary I tried to lull the feeling of responsibility within me. ‘Ithamar would never get permission from the Old Man,’ I said to myself. ‘And without permission he wouldn’t dare.’ But I wasn’t sure and I wished that Van Fried had already left the country. That afternoon, at the office of the Command, I was told that Ithamar had been given a leave of absence and had left for Tel-Aviv. I feit a sudden pang.

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