Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

93 Air. Monday and Other Tales of Jewish Amsterdam

The art of finding out whether you and the other person belong to the same family (mishpocheh) is called "mish-pochelogy".

I will give you an example of this science.

The conversation starts as follows:

"I am a Pereira."

"Then you are of Portugese parentage? In that case you maybe are mishpocheh of Sal Pereira who used to live near Amstelveld?"

"I know who you mean. Sal Pereira, who was married to Abraham Pereira da Costa da Fonseca, she was a daughter of Isaac Levison who walked with the cheivrebook, his mother was a Herschel, her husband was a Salmonson, Benny Salmonson. Och, you must know him, he had a big schnozzel, Benny Schnozzel we always called him. No, he is no relative of mine, I am a Goldstein, my husband is a Pereira de Salzedo, not just Salzedo, but de Salzedo."

"Then is he one of the Salzedo's who used to live in Weesper Street in a cellar where they have a cigar shop?"

"Exactly. Now you've got the right one."

"Well, will you believe it when I say that we are of the same family? My uncle Jossie, Jossie of Mitzi, they live in Swan Street right opposite baker Con, well this Uncle Jossie is married to one Salzedo who used to live on Breestreet and who is a niece of the Salzedo of Weesperstreet."

"You mean Raatje of Jossie of Mitzi? Oh, yes, I know her. That is family of mine, her mother and my mother are nieces."

"Is her mother still alive? She must be nearly eighty."

"Eighty? She is ninety-four, unbeschrien unberufen, ninety-four!