Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

MY YIDDISHE GRANDMA 71

with a caul. Would I vanish from home now and then!"

When Grandmother was really angry about something, she would announce, "I will throw myself in a fit."

And she did. She dropped to the floor, screaming. At first she did this consciously and deliberately, but after a little while the screams seemed to build up their own power. It was like someone on a swing who gives himself a starting push, then makes the swing arc higher and higher without further help from the ground. That's how it went with those self-made nervous fits of hers. What started as a comedy soon became a drama. Then towels had to be soaked in water and vinegar to wet her hands and forehead. The screaming would subside and after a few minutes Grandma would be completely calm again. Usually her angry mood would have disappeared too.

Her fits were a real nuisance for the family, especially when she came to live with us after all her children were married. Whenever she didn't get her way in something, she threatened to throw herself in a fit. And she could be very troublesome and obstinate. In our house she reserved for herself certain special tasks. She insisted that Mother should leave the cooking of certain dishes to her; she declared that only she could prepare those dishes properly.

Nonsense, Mother said, she could do it just as well but Grandma denied this. "I will throw myself in a fit," she threatened, and that was that.

Smelt, for instance, fried smelt. She insisted that there are small worms in smelt, tiny white worms. And that she had to take these out before the fishes could be fried. Fried smelt she liked to eat, not fried worms.

I don't believe that the white curly marks in smelt are