Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

60 Adr. Monday and Other Tales of Jewish Amsterdam

authentic because he told it to me himself. In fact, he was very proud of it.

"I had to take my son to the doctor because the little boy had stomach trouble. So I entered the study of the aesculapius and told him "Your honour, my son complains of pains in the lower part of his abdominal. Will you please investigate and examinate him, for I fear that he is going to be ill."

The doctor tells me, "Open that lad's fly so I can have a look at his little thing."

In such a crude and uncivilised fashion that university man spoke to we! I drew myself up to my full height and I inform him sternly, "Doctor esquire, I am a class-conscious working man and nowadays our children do not have 'little things'. My son has a penisV'

Another neighbour of ours, David Augurkiesman ("Gherkinman") was a member of a debating club that studied political and economic science. Each week the leader of that club used to assign one of the members to prepare an essay on some topic or other. The essay was then read out, and of course, torn completely apart by the others.

David Augurkiesman was an apprentice in a tailor shop. It would have been an exaggeration to state that he had the talent to become a genius in political economics, although he never missed a meeting of the club. The pathetic thing about David was that he so much wanted to be an intellectual, but that at the same time he was aware of his shortcomings. His mind moved within the confines of a narrow room with a low ceiling.