Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

54 Adr. Monday and Other Tales of Jewish Amsterdam

"Then let Jonas come here."

"No, that works out the same. He will still trumpet the whole story around."

The solution of the quarrel was that I was sent downstairs with a note. Would Mr. Jacobs please come up. It happened to be Friday, anyway, so Mr. Jacobs was visiting the Sisters. Lowee came, and while he shaved the other side of Father's face, Mother and Grandmother sat at the window staring into the street below like two angry queens, as if Mr. Jacobs did not exist for them.

When Lowee had left. Father showed his clean-shaven face.

"See, not a scratch. The safety thing is first class, but you have to learn how to use it."

Next day a notice was posted in the shop of Jonas Slap.

Self-shavers cannot have their hair cut here.

He who thinks he can shave himself must cut his own hair.

We shave only whole faces.

We do not cater to half faces.

(Signed) fonas Slap

That evening, when we sat at the table, Father said, "I would like to know how Jonas got the lowdown about Lowee having shaved the half of my face. Lowee swore an oath that he would not tell."

"I haven't breathed about it to nobody," said Mother.

"You need not look at me," added Grandmother. "I certainly did not tell anybody either. But I know who told Jonas."