Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

40 Adr. Monday and Other Tales of Jewish Amsterdam

"Good, thank you for telling me. If I sell them anything, one guilder is for you."

So that when a few days later the Venetiaander family, father, mother and the little Bar Mitzvah boy appear on Damstreet, Italiaander jumps to attention. But pa and ma Venetiaander are not that crazy either. They come sauntering along, seemingly indifferent. If his spies hadn't informed him, the tout would never suspect that they have come to buy. Now the tout hesitates, he can either address the Venetiaander family in which case his bargaining position is weakened, or he can not address them. But if he ignores them there is the possibility that they will pass him by and be caught in another spider's web. How does Joseph Italiaander act when he has these two alternatives? He feigns ignorance.

"Hello Mister Venetiaander," he says. "Yes, don't be surprised, I know you well because I've seen you walking sometimes with a good acquaintance of mine, Mr. Wagenaar. Nice weather, isn't it? Just taking a little walk with your pretty wife and handsome boy, I suppose. Well, amuse yourselves. By the way, that boy of yours must be about eleven years old so he won't be needing a Bar Mitzvah suit yet for quite a while, I guess.

"Well, never mind, by the time he needs one you should come around."

That shot always hits the mark. Without fail it is the mother who feels hurt and blurts out "Eleven years old? Such a robust boy! Let me tell you that in two weeks he will become Bar Mitzvah, if G'd wills."

After that it's no great feat to keep the fish on the line.