Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

HOW ZELIK MISSED OUT ON TWO INHERITANCES 123

shalt..."and the poor parychim got the pieces with "Thou shalt not..." You follow me? Good! So it came to pass, that both Aunt Pessie and Aunt Breinie got a big piece on which was written with letters of gold "Thou shalt". That's how rich both of them were, and they were jealous of each other, as I maybe told you already.

If Aunt Pessie bough a new lamp for her front room, then Aunt Breinie had to buy two new lamps, one for the front room and one for the back room. If Aunt Breinie had her chairs upholstered in velvet, then Aunt Pessie couldn't be happy until her chairs were covered with velvet and gold ribbon. When no more lamps could be bought, no more furniture upholstered, no more carpets spread, Aunt Breinie discovered something brand new to show off the money. And what was it? She went abroad, that's what!

In those days, people did not go on vacation.Vacation, that is a newfangled idea. In the old days, if people had some free time, they went out of town. And where did they go? To Haarlem and Zandvoort; to Arnhem and Nijmegen; to Alkmaar and Bergen; to The Hague and Scheveningen; they were always going to two places at once, but both of them in Holland. But not Aunt Breinie—she went with her Sjaje for a little trip along the river Rhine. And she sent the whole world picture postcards from the Rhine. Naturally Aunt Pessie got the most beautiful one of all, with mother-of-pearl on the mountains. And on the card was written: "Dear Pes, Sjaje and I are standing here on a mountain, such a high mountain you just can't imagine how small a human being is, nothing but a pile of horse manure; your cousin Breinie."

Naturally, Aunt Pessie was beside herself with anger, and