Mr. Monday and other tales of Jewish Amsterdam

HOW ZELIK MISSED OUT ON TWO INHERITANCES

I had an uncle called Zelik who in later years everybody considered a little bit meshuga. That was because he couldn't stop telling everybody how in his youth he had let two big inheritances slip through his fingers. This is how he told the story to us.

JVIaybe you think that i am lying, but it's as true as the Good Lord that in my youth I missed out on two jerushos, two inheritances worth, together, maybe a million guilders.

Well now, perhaps a million is a little exaggerated. So let me play it safe and say half of that. I know you're still sceptical even at that cut price, so I'll make it as low as possible. Call it two inheritances amounting together to one hundred thousand guilders.That's how much got away from me. Yes, from me, Zelik. And why did all that money walk away right out from under my nose? That's what I am going to tell you now.

I had two aunts, both really exceptional women, I must say, and between them there was never a bad word; only they couldn't stand the light in each other's eyes.